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Joke of the Day
"Today I Fucked Up... the couch"
Next Joke
"""What if Waldo finds me first?"" I ask naively. Grandma closes the book; the blood drains from her face. ""Don't let that happen,"" she warns."
"My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine."
"Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris"
"What do you call the sweat on the bodies of two people having sex in West Virginia? Relative Humidity"
"My dad got fired from Cal Trans for stealing... We couldn't believe it. But when we got home, we saw all of the signs."
"If you're religious you dont get to pick & choose ""You shall not make for yourself an idol"" That Disney sticker means you're going to hell"
"Cop: Do you have any drugs in the car? Me: Absolutely not. Trust me, I've looked."
"Your make-up application says ""I failed Clown College""."
"Why did Sony pull ""The Interview"" ? They were afraid it would bomb at the movie theaters"