51509

Joke of the Day

"I live in a glass house and my back door is a jar"

"What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F"

"How did Jesus get those sexy messiah abs? He did crossfit."

"Apparently, you can only say ""Look at you! You got so big!"" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?"

"What is the Italian postal motto? We know where **you** live, your family too!"

"My New Year's resolutions: 1. Stop making lists. B. Be more consistent. 7. Learn to count."

"On Pedophile Opposite Day they go to army bases to have sex with Majors."

"Wife: ""Did you know that some idiot paid $96,000 for Princess Leia's gold bikini?"" Me: [nervously tightening my robe] ""Who would do that?"""

"Ever hear the joke about the baby with aids? Aww, man. It *never* gets old."

"What kind of soda did Moses drink? Mountain Jew!"