51508

Joke of the Day

"What's a thoughtful person's favourite dip? Hmmmus."

"The best thing about sharing a king sized bed with your spouse is that if you move far enough away it feels like you're completely alone."

"The old farmer hates when the horses neigh at night. The weird noises give him night-mares"

"How do you find Ronald McDonald in a room full of naked clowns? The Sesame Seeds on his buns. (According to my father this is the first joke I ever told, around 5yo.)"

"A punchline walks into a bar. Hello, you have reached the punchline, leave a message after the tone. **beep**"

"What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law? Haram Bay"

"What's purple and chained to my front porch? That's my nigger and I'll paint him whatever color I want!"

"I don't call it stalking I call it checking up"

"What do you call a geologist who can't hear? Stone deaf..."

"ATTENTION ALABAMA RESIDENTS: tonight's penumbral lunar eclipse is perfectly natural. The moon is undamaged. Gay people are not stealing it."