50908

Joke of the Day

"If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper ""AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED."" They love that."

"Your mama so FAT32 She always takes 4096 bytes"

"What kind of beer does Hitler drink? Neinenkugel"

"Don't pay your taxes. Get sent to a cool ass prison. Boom, now taxes pay you. Life hack."

"Confucius say: It is good if boy meets girl in park... It is better if boy parks meat in girl."

"A Jewish guy at my restaurant loves croutons Specifically, burnt croutons. I can understand why, he knows their pain"

"Every single person on this subway is staring at their phone and I'm so appalled I have to tweet about it."

"I was in a near-sex experience. My wife flashed before my eyes."

"Whats pink and smells like salmon? trout"

"i have a heavy flow maxi pad in my wallet so it looks like i have lots of money"