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Joke of the Day

"What's the quickest way to clean semen off a poodle? Seriously. I need to know because my mother-in-law is due back home in about 20 minutes."

"A man walks up to a woman sitting alone... ...He ask her ""Did you fall from heaven?"" She begins to blush and giggle and replies with a smirk ""Maybe.. Why?"" ""Because you look *really* fucked up."""

"What's the difference between Reddit and 4chan? One is a group of immature internet trolls....and the other thinks it isn't."

"My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart."

"There's a new holiday in Russia called ""National Sobriety Day"" People are at a loss as to how to celebrate it."

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? In little knotsies!"

"Two antenna met on a roof... fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was *excellent*."

"How do you fix a deaf car? With an engin*eer.*"

"Sea turtles happened when god got stoned one night and wondered what would happen if a frisbee was a lizard."

"[at the gym] Trainer: You want me to spot you, bro? Waldo: Please don't do that."