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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a recluse, I'm just playing hard to get with society."

"Well, you know what they say about nice guys... ..they always let girls come first."

"No matter how kind you are... ...German children will always be kinder. Edit: Since you guys seem to like German jokes so much."

"I got the lyrics wrong and partied like it's 1599. Now my kitchen smells like roast peacock and I can't get this horse off my couch"

"Why did the Priest cross the road? Because he crosses everything."

"Half of reddit is shut down. In unrelated news, productivity rises nation-wide"

"What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"One day I'll make a cure for blindness. You'll see, you'll ALL see!"

"What did Eminem say when 50cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?"

"Have you ever flicked a cigarette out the window then five minutes later you start to smell something? So you turn around only to find your grandma fingering herself in the back seat."