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Joke of the Day
"How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be? Use LED based paint."
Next Joke
"""Master Yoda, are we on the right track?"" ""Off course, we are.."""
"Torturer: I will break you Me: Do you wear that hood to hide your sadness? Torturer: *broken* ah hell man I just wanted to be a chef"
"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field! :p"
"What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the European Union."
"Getting sick of seeing dogs that are not falling in love or at least sharing spaghetti."
"A Jewish kid asks his dad for $20 Son: Dad, I need $20 Dad: Son, $20? Why do you need $10? Here's $5"
"Saying ""oh my gosh you're getting so big!"" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend."
"Samoa is in 2 time zones Some of those people are living in the past"
"I carry a knife, but it's just in case of cake."