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Joke of the Day

"How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be? Use LED based paint."

"""Gotta wake up early"" *sets alarm for 5am* *wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm* *goes back to sleep*"

"Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog."

"I wish crappy people weren't allowed to like my favorite band."

"There are 11 types of people in the world... Those that understand binary, those that don't, and those that thought this would be the 10 kinds of people joke."

"What's a jew doing on a swing? Fucking with the german snipers"

"""I'm so nervous,... ...this is the first time that I'm with a prostitute."" ""Just relax and tell me what you like."" ""I like turtles"" :-)"

"I'd be the X-man who was always pointing out the continuity flaws in our storyline"

"What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol? My record is 21 years."

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ?Give me a beer and a mop.?"