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Joke of the Day

"Baby seal walks into a club... ..."

"My favorite quote. ""Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered."" *anonymous*"

"When I die, I want you to carry my casket So you can let me down one last time."

"I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it."

"I want to die in my sleep, like my grandpa did. and not screaming like the passengers in the backseat."

"My daughter is getting to the age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex... yesterday she asked me: ""Is that all you got?"""

"Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat ""so sorry so sorry"" and keep moving forward."

"How could I forget, mate? At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: ""I am a country member!"" and the other said: ""Oh, I remember!"""

"One of Hillary Clinton's personal emails... [deleted]"

"People make me sick, unless you cook them properly."