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Joke of the Day
"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. ............. JK rolling!"
Next Joke
"If you're pissed off about a non-white Santa Claus then I've got some very bad news for you about Jesus."
"Don't curse the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation"
"Treadwell walked into a Biloxi stationery store and asked ""Have you got any invisible ink?"" ""Certainly sir"" said the owner. ""What color?"""
"What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant? Are ya?"
"What is Imperator Furiosa's least favorite type of ice cream? Rocky Road."
"Me: I played this as a kid. It's from back when video games made sense 6-year-old: Why did you jump on a turtle? Me: Because I'm a plumber"
"Guy calls 911... ...says, ""Help me, help me, my wife's having a baby!"" 911 Operator says, ""Ok, sir, remain calm, is this her first child?"" Guy says ""No, it's her fucking husband!"""
"""I just heard that that one actress from Legally Blonde, Reese... 'whatever her last name is' got stabbed to death walking to her car last night."" ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife."""
"I got arrested... I got arrested for punching a guy at a new years party, when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."