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Joke of the Day

"You could say I'm a Whiz Kid. I'm really smart. And I'll drink your piss"

"How is a woman who got her winter coat at Target similar to an officer on leave? They both got their fur low."

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple food to the ceiling"

"My girlfriend said a small penis was okay. But I still wish she didn't have one."

"Edgy? You are seriously describing WINE as ""edgy""? Vodka with Xanax and a side of knife fight is edgy. This is Welch's."

"How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun!"

"They say 1 out of every 5 humans is Chinese. Out of me and my 4 siblings, I'm pretty sure it's either Carl or Liu Yang."

"Little known fact: If you ride any animal in the zoo for more than 30 seconds... it's yours to keep."

"I love babies cause they just cry upon waking up and it's so honest"

"I wish they had an app that allows you to delete your number from other ppl's phones."