49099

Joke of the Day

"How to make a gay fuck a women [NSFW] Shit in her cunt..."

"Where did vampires go to first in America? New-fang-land."

"What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement!"

"I asked my wife to pick up some French bread from the grocery store But ciabatta roll instead."

"What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive"

"*looks east* ah, the atlantic ocean *looks west* ah, the pacific ocean *sees a bunch of idiots raving about mediocre r&b* ah,the Frank Ocean"

"I charged my phone, but I didn't have enough evidence to indict, so I had to let it go."

"Me: Oh yeah, baby. Tie me up and put a blindfold on me...Grrrr. Him: Erm...I'm only here to rob the bank...and I have a boyfriend."

"""You're going to love my friend. He's hilarious."" is still the best way to know you're about to meet an annoying person."

"Me: ""Can I see the baby?"" Sister: ""Yes, but only if she's awake."" Me, through a megaphone: ""NOT A PROBLEM."""