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Joke of the Day

"Apparently ""I'll break your god damn legs"" isn't the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway."

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"You know your getting old when ... Rough sex is fighting for the bottom."
"I would say Reddit's jokes aren't copy pasted but then again we're all *stuck* down here together in this place"
"What is love? Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. And me, I call it you."
"A magic 8-ball would make better life decisions for me than I do."
"I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and weird. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her."
"My laptop said hello to me.... I think it's ""a Dell"""
"Why yes, I am watching a documentary about Marie Antoinette and enjoying it. Could it be because I'm straight fucking gangster? Perhaps."
"When grammar nazis correct me, I start to make errors on purpose to mess with them. You can say I'm passive, aggressive."
"IF YOU LIKE THAT FACEBOOK STATUS SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT?!"