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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails."

"What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book? Who-dini"

"Joke of the day Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!"

"Why do we all need a Jew for a friend? Because he'll never give you a penny for your thoughts, he'll never put his two cents in, & he'll never drop a dime on you!"

"Did you hear the one about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget."

"Why do chemists love bad jokes? Their jobs get a lot easier when there are no reactions"

"A great joke that only air conditioners will get! On second thought, I'm not gonna say it. I can already tell you're not a fan."

"JUDGE: put ur hand on this book and promise not to lie PERSON WHO IS IN COURT LITERALY FOR LYING ABOUT THINGS: uh...... ok"

"Yarrr, have ye seen me mizzenmast? It's mizzen."

"With my luck, I could jump in a barrel full of titties.... ...and come out sucking my thumb."