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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes, I like to drink and play guitar..."

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"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's cheat and murder for insurance money like they do on Investigation Discovery Channel."
"Two guys walk into a bar The third one ducks."
"I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice"
"The main reason that Santa is so jolly ... is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"The first rule of thesaurus club is... You do not talk, speak, communicate, orate, or converse about thesaurus club"
"What's brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"
"What did the German Kaiser roll say to the French baguette? *Gluten tag*"
"It's not fair that lab animals get to test all those nice cosmetics while I'm stuck using the cheap stuff."
"You know what the problem with biplanes is? You never know what direction they are going."