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Joke of the Day

"""Apparently I wasn't clear the first time that I want exactly two joules per second in my ass"" ""I said watt watt in the butt."""

"A day after the Blagojevich verdict and a radical stylist announces plans to build a hair salon two blocks from the courthouse. Disgraceful."

"""If you text me, I'll call you back just cuz it's more efficient."" - a monster"

"I wish I could play little league again. I'd be so much better now."

"A distracted man walks off a cliff while talking on his phone. He was sentenced to death."

"Translated from danish: 2 drunk sits in a bar. One says: My dog keeps chasing people on a bicycle..... The other guy things for a bit then replies: Then why don't you take the bicycle from it?.... (c:"

"I want to to to tell you a pun. That's two to too to."

"One time when I was riding the school bus the bus drive hit a couple of tree branches She said ""bus drivers trim trees as a side job"""

"Your car won't start? Have you tried getting out of it and then getting back into it again? That usually works for my computer."

"My girlfriend feels she needs 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in her shower & if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor"