48520

Joke of the Day

"Two Muffins Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin says to the second, ""Is it getting hot in here?"" The second muffin says ""AAAAHHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"""

"Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well bring me some you haven't had around for that long."

"I'm not only a workaholic, I drink at home too."

"I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing."

"If you find me dead after tweeting & driving, please hit SEND to get that final thought out there"

"What's Dale Earnhardt's favorite Pink Floyd album? Dark side of the moon. You sick bastard."

"*Paul Walker shouts down from the gates of heaven* ""YO DID I GET A MILLION LIKES ON FACEBOOK? THEY WON'T LET ME IN WITHOUT A MILLION LIKES"""

"I really hate my partners calling me the wrong name during sex. My name is not ""Help"" or ""Get off me""."

"you know what never gets old? Children who died at a young age."

"Why did the internet pirate get scurvy? He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore."