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Joke of the Day
"If Batman and Catwoman had a kid it would be called Batcat; or the more unfortunate ManWoman."
Next Joke
"Interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering"
"Why is Barbie never pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box."
"What do you get when you kiss a canary? Chirpes. It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease."
"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"
"What do nails like to do on the weekend? Get hammered."
"Macbeth.docx That's a play on word"
"I hate how funerals are always at 9-10 AM... I'm not really a mourning person"
"ANIMAL CONTROL: what the hell were you thinking ME: releasing birds at a wedding is romantic ANIMAL CONTROL: you released ostriches"
"""Mommy, could you please make me a sandwich?"" ""Don't call me ""mommy"" just because I slept with your father!"" ""So what am I supposed to call you?"" ""Just call me Steve, like everybody else."""