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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a cow that just had a baby? De-calf-inated"
Next Joke
"I overheard a friend telling his pal ""I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."" ""What is she doing?"" the pal asks. ""Waiting for me to get home."""
"The Walmart app just updated on my phone and now water autocorrects to soda and exercise autocorrects to Doritos and beer."
"Ice cream van accidents are very rare... But unfortunately, they always result in the loss of hundreds and thousands."
"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea."
"What do you call a pair of identical twins who are stewardesses? Hostess Twinkies"
"MISSING: SUPER ADORABLE PUPPY. WILL COME IF YOU PLAY WU-TANG HELLA LOUD. THIS IS NOT A PLOY TO GET THE NEIGHBORHOOD BUMPIN', THE DOG IS REAL"
"""I don't have time for this shit!"" I thought, as I sat on the toilet, angry, and late for work."
"What do you call a dog subbing for a music teacher? A subwoofer."
"So I read on a website to ""treat your furry friend once a week."" So I bought him two tickets to Zootopia."