48014

Joke of the Day

"I just want to be wealthy enough to leave notes for the house-sitter like ""If the puma seems restless, let him splash in the Jacuzzi a bit."""

"What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"My mate was freaking out today, crying and all. He had no idea how he was going to become the fruit farmer he'd always dreamed of being. I told him to grow a pear."

"Affirmation or irony? Yes."

"'No Panties Tuesday' is a thing, right? Or AKA, I really need to do some laundry."

"Whats the most essential part of telling a joke about terrorism? an explosive punchline"

"I married a Chinese millionaire..... ....Ka Ching."

"In the expression "" romantic dinner "" for women key word is "" romantic "" and for men - "" dinner""."

"Sushi A and Sushi B Q: What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? A: WASSUP B?"

"What do you call large number of cannibals stranded on an island? A *free-for-all-you-can-eat.*"