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Joke of the Day

"There are 2 things in this world that i hate. 1. racism 2. black people"

"Why dont you need birth controls when having sex with British boys? They are the earliest to pull out of eu."

"One good way to prepare for marriage is to have someone come over and critique the way you load the dishwasher."

"Coworker: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: It's hum.. [30 min later] Cop: So you stapled his lips?"

"i don't see why i have to clean the shower. imo it is the shower's job to clean me"

"Why do you hate a nosey pepper? Cuz he's jalapeno .business"

"I failed my Health and Safety Test today apparently when they ask what steps you should take in case of a fire, large ones was not the correct answer"

"Nothing like the dreaded ""Mom I missed the bus"" text to get you up and moving."

"Happy Friday the Thirteenth I think it's bad luck to be superstitious"

"I work in a library and a black guy asked me if there are any coloured printers... I said, ""Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."""