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Joke of the Day

"""One of my neighbours had half of his large intestine removed,"" I said to my mate. ""Did he end up in a coma?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied, ""But he did end up with a semi-colon."""

"If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used."

"The people I work with are a bunch of potatoes They're definitely tator-taught."

"I have a multiple personality disorder... And so do I."

"What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide"

"You should know, that no one understood it was an April fool's joke because no one expected you have a sense of humor."

"Similarities between Scruff McGruff's police force and Michael Vick? They've both got a dog fighting crime."

"Look Disney all I'm saying is that if my stepdaughter brought a bunch of birds and mice into my mansion I'd make her clean up that shit too."

"Dad just dropped this at my cousin's 8th birthday party...I was the only one to burst out laughing.. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"Knock, knock... .. Who's there? Buster Buster who? Buster cherry, where's ya daughter?"