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Joke of the Day

"USS Constitution aged Q: What was the USS Constitution's nickname after it started to rust? A: Old Iron Oxides This one just kind of popped into my head at work yesterday."

"6/6/14 Dear Diary - Today was really great. Got a job as an intern with the CIA and sent a cool tweet. 6/7/14 Dear Diary - Guantanamo sucks."

"So a grasshopper walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey we have a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper replies, ""You have a drink named Steve?"" favorite corny joke"

"If you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're... Your a moron."

"[NSFW][REALLY NSFW] I hate pedophiles... They're fucking immature assholes"

"Pokemon. Stds are like Pokemon. Ya gotta catch em all."

"Man walks into a bakery Says to the baker ""I'd like to buy a wasp please."" The baker says ""Sir, we don't sell wasps."" The man replies ""Well there's one in your shop window!"""

"Jesus came to me the other night Please let me out."

"If you follow the rules of grammar, people will always help you. If you don't, your on you're own."

"[NSFW] A guy accidentally took sleeping pills instead of Viagra... he couldn't get up."