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Joke of the Day

"What do you say when somebody calls you a pussy? "" You are what you eat! """

"Why is it so hard to breakup with Japanese girls? You have to drop the bomb twice"

"[shark tank] ""Hi, what's your product idea?"" Product? [holding bucket of live fish] I'm here to see the tank of sh-... I've made a mistake"

"So Donald Trump is only getting $1 a year as president? You could probably get an immigrant to do a better job for a cheaper price."

"With Trump and Hillary being the candidates, I think we know who will win... Dave."

"The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face."

"I'm in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend's in the future."

"There is no 'I' in 'Denial'"

"I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm."

"As a fat guy I never really have more pep in my step... But I do occasionally get a little more throttle in my waddle."