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Joke of the Day

"Karma is my daughter bragging about getting to sleep late this week and forgetting to turn off her alarm."

"What laxative did the constipated man ask for? Poop-ease"

"A dyslexic boy was beaten up by classmates for trying to ride on the regular bus instead of the short bus. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Why did Hank Hill join an S&M club? He heard they were Pro-Pain."

"""I believe I can fry"" - R Kelly filling out McDonald's application"

"""Grandpa, why did everyone make a big deal out of selfies when they're just pictures, oh and thanks a lot for doing nothing about climate."""

"I can't believe how much money I've spent fueling my drinking problem. Time to start brewing coffee at home."

"My wife is a vegan. I'm not. I don't care if she makes more money than me. I can still say that I'm the one who brings home the bacon."

"Close your eyes. Now imagine a peaceful meadow. That meadow represents your betrayal. I told you to close your eyes, but you kept reading."

"I tried a vegan recipe book last night. It was much tastier than any of the recipes in it."