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Joke of the Day

"""Well that can't be right."" - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands"

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a doctor and two nurses to get it out."

"Want to hear my favorite joke? 729271"

"Where does beef come from? Cowschwitz."

"Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead ? I didn't even know he was sick !"

"Dogs have masters. Cats have staff."

"it's so crazy to think that, before the internet, real celebrities had to tattoo the little blue checkmark on their faces"

"""it says on ur resume that ur good at saying unexpected things?"" yes i am. ... ""but i thougt u were gona say something unexp-- oh wow ur good"""

"I learned today that I'm still a reddit noob."

"Why did the broken straw go to rehab? It had a serious drinking problem."