47034

Joke of the Day

"Why are most selfies taken in the bathroom? Cause that's where the shit belongs"

"I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie. Sadly it was erased."

"I often antagonize black people in hopes they call me a jive turkey."

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench... when a little boy, around 9 years old passes them by. ""Wanna fuck him?"" asks the priest. ""Out of what?"" the rabbi replies."

"What's Bill Cosby's favorite cheese? Camembert."

"Twitter has ruined me. Just wrote ""we'll deliver your load on time"" for a transportation client and broke into peals of laughter."

"Why was the baby strawberry sad? His mom was in a jam."

"Coworker: How are you doing this morning? Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you?"

"How did Kikkoman soy sauce move production to China? They outsauced it."

"People used to dress as monsters for Halloween. Now they dress as characters from shows you don't watch."