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Joke of the Day

"Spent 15 damn minutes looking for my phone in the car last night while using my phone as a light, yup that high.."

"What is the correct way to refer to an OP who resides in Europe? The Continental OP."

"After hearing Kim and Kanye are having a kid via in vitro fertilization... Of course Kanye picked the option where he could have sex with himself and still have a kid."

"The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow."

"A redneck goes to a family reunion and says ""Honey, I'm home!"""

"I hate to say ""I told you so"", so Im going to sing it."

"How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down? Nobody knows it hasn't happened yet."

"An obgyn was fired from his job So decided to become a comedian, but he failed at that as well. I guess he just always screwed up the delivery..."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I don't care."

"What do you call a Latina with varicose veins? Vein-a-swellin'."