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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the proper way to address the king of the ghosts? A: Your ghostliness."

"Doctor says my kid has some form of hereditary ADHD He explained it to me, but I didn't really listen."

"What do you call a museum for cows? A moo-seum."

"It's confusing when a girl is both beautiful and doesn't listen to terrible music."

"9am: Very busy day today, I need to focus & stay off the internet 1pm: did you know that Texas has the largest population of prairie dogs?"

"A Russian, an Irishman and a Scott walks into a bar.. Just kidding. They never left the bar in the beginning"

"What's 9+10? 19 you fucking dumbass"

"Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names. I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named ""Steven!"""

"There are 70 ways to make a man happy... One is booze and the other is 69."

"It would be funny if, with everyone freaking out about global warming we ended up dying in a good old 60s throwback nuclear war with Russia."