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Joke of the Day

"ANCHOR: Now over to Mike for the weather. ME: IT'S REALLY WEATHERY RIGHT NOW, CARL, WITH MORE WEATHER TO COME! THAT'S IT FOR THE WEATHER!"

"A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!"

"So I heard they're demolishing Hitlers house Anne Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't do it already. I hope they step on the gas and burn the place down."

"Did you hear about the midget that got kicked out of the nudist colony? He was getting into everybody's hair..."

"[bar trivia night] and remember no using your phones unless it's an emergency me: [five minutes later] hello 911? are butterflies insects?"

"How do you call a prison inmate? With a cell phone."

"I asked a cute statistician if I could get her phone number. She said probably not."

"What kind of fruit is also a vegetable? Elton John in a coma."

"When you die, you walk down a tunnel of light and then that sentient paperclip from MS Word pops up and asks you what you want to do next."

"How do the jews comunicate? With smoke signals"