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Joke of the Day

"ANCHOR: Now over to Mike for the weather. ME: IT'S REALLY WEATHERY RIGHT NOW, CARL, WITH MORE WEATHER TO COME! THAT'S IT FOR THE WEATHER!"

"One time I saw a biker's funeral procession and realized even dead people are cooler than me."

"Why was Saint Peter so good at basketball? He denied Jesus 3 times"

"Q: What did the hat say to the necktie? A: You go AHEAD I'll HANG AROUND!"

"What happened to the Italian chef when he died? He *pasta way*."

"The forecast isn't calling for rain so I'm just going to wash my car to prove the weatherman wrong"

"Pretty nice 7 mile run, and I don't even care that that woman passed me because her cane was like a whole extra leg that never gets tired."

"""Hey, we're best friends! This is the most fun ever! Lets take some pictures!"" - drunk people"

"What do successful businessmen and aids patients have in common They both take risks and get positive results"

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."