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Joke of the Day

"What's grey and comes in buckets? An elephant."

"What do you call a modified practice amongst border security workers? A custom custom custom."

"Why didn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box."

"Ruger is coming out with a new pistol called the congressman... X/post from r/guns .....it doesn't work and you can't fire it."

"Sometimes I think I want to have a baby but then I wake up the next morning still holding my beer and I think maybe not"

"I saw a billboard that said, ""Be her Romeo"" and featured a pic of a diamond ring. Apparently they have not read Shakespeare."

"CRAZY PRANK!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYmoaJoyZTo"

"If she licks all the frosting off her face with a single 360 degree sweep of the tongue, she might be Scooby Doo."

"I wish my penis was smaller. Then I could finally disprove the Planck length."

"Made it to that level of dad where I just called dibs on the TV that I bought in the house that I own with the cable I pay for."