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Joke of the Day

"That mini heart attack you have when you're in bed half asleep and you suddenly feel like you're falling."

"What do you call a horse that's a criminal? A Zebra."

"Two homeless guys are watching a dog lick it's nuts... ... One says to the other ""I wish I could do that"" The other scoffs and replies ""you'd wanna ask him first"""

"What do you call an angle that is cute ? Acute angle."

"A Muslim, a communist and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""Hello Mr. President!"""

"What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde ? A jet setter !"

"My local cafe is getting awfully spiritual these days The new sign says ""Please wait here to be, seated."""

"(Trump rally) Trump: I'll take questions now. Reporter: How will you fix California's drought? Trump: More water. Crowd: *cheers wildly*"

"What kind of luggage does a vulture bring on a plane? Carrion."

"Why did the programmer confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25."