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Joke of the Day

"That mini heart attack you have when you're in bed half asleep and you suddenly feel like you're falling."

"What's the difference between Lebron James and a dollar (USD)... A dollar gives you four quarters :-)"

"You know what grinds my gears? Improper gear ratios and speed differences."

"Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam. FBI is still looking for the leak."

"Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that? Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"LPT: If you are a minor, get rid of your bathroom mirror so you won't see yourself naked and accidentally get arrested and registered as a sex offender. Spread the word."

"My blood type is A+ because I'm the best at everything. Even at having blood."

"Naming that space movie Gravity makes about as much sense as naming Jurassic Park something like There's No Dinosaurs In This."

"3 rules for having good teeth: brush and floss twice a day, see your dentist twice a year, and keep your nose out of other peoples business."

"A doe walks out of the woods.... A doe walks out of the woods, shakes herself off and says, ""Well. I'll never do THAT for two bucks again.""."