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Joke of the Day

"Her: I have Netflix if you wanna come watch a movie :) Me: No it's ok, I have my own account [60 years later on deathbed] Me: Wait a minute"

"I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?"

"January 4th is the commemoration of Schrodinger's death... But since he's is in a box, we are not sure."

"Post and Repost were sitting in a boat. Post fell out, so who was left?"

"How does a blonde man get really rich,stupid and a candidate for president ? small loan of 100 million dollars"

"So I heard Donald Trump is running for president again. You guys know that if he wins, we'll all be f****d, right? That's right. Fired. ;)"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to Hungary."

"If an Astronaut Vomits in L.E.O. If an Astronaut vomits in L.E.O., what do you call the portion of the vomit closest to the Earth? The Ralph Nadir"

"My Parents asked me what i wanted for christmas... I said i want something to wear and something to play with. So they got me a pair of pants with the pockets cut out."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh."