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Joke of the Day

"Why does the media always call a stabbing incident a ""violent"" stabbing incident? Is it possible to stab someone non-violently?"

"PERV IN THE LINGERIE STORE Q: Why did the perv go into Victoria's Secret? A: The panties were half off."

"So I walked into a bank with a bag of weed to deposit... The teller asked, ""what are you doing?"" I said, ""I wish to open a joint account!"""

"Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!"

"What sound will reddit make when it blows up? Nothing, it's just a website."

"Didja hear the joke about the piece of paper ripped in half? It's tearable."

"""I'm all up for sex with handcuffs..."" ""...I just think a little warning would have been nice, Officer."""

"A wise man once said... ""If you make a woman laugh, you've half-undressed her."" However, if you half-undress and she laughs, that's a different thing altogether."

"So my boyfriend and I broke up, but I made a Sim family about us.. I just realized I have to kill every member of that family"

"How do you spot a terrorist? They'll freak out when they hear a helicopter"