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Joke of the Day

"Virgin will hate it when someone said... You don't worth a pound."

"El Chapo is a murderous Mexican drug lord. El Chapo Supreme is a murderous Mexican drug lord with sour cream, lettuce and tomato."

"Why is a woman's asshole like a 9 volt battery? Because we all know it's wrong but sooner or later we're gonna put our tongue on it."

"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work."

"Did you hear about the man who killed 47 donkeys? I heard it was an assacre"

"A zombie opened his frig for a snack. He looked at a human brain, but threw it away... ... it was expired."

"I farted in the Apple store and everybody got pissed It's not my fault they don't have Windows..."

"[teaching my 3yo the alphabet] ""Ok what's a word that starts with Q"" cucumber ""That's uh... I don't... let's pick this up again tomorrow"""

"I've got a problem with people who are into BDSM I just want to strangle them."

"What word begins with ""N"" and ends in ""R"" that I wouldn't want to call a black guy? Neighbor."