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Joke of the Day

"Why did my friend throw my computer out the window? So A Dell could message me and say Hello from the other side."

"If A-B-C-D didn't drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn't have to be so rushed."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's going to be shit."

"Why are libraries so strict? Because they have to go by the book."

"How is learning to ride a bicycle and 9/11 alike? Because you never forget!"

"[Shark Tank] Ok hear me out. -Alright. It's an airplane made out of cats. -But why? It cant crash. Always lands on it's feet. -Please leave."

"How do you conufuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."

"If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you're probably holding the taser wrong."

"My main job as a husband is to taste things that my wife thinks taste like they've gone bad and tell her if they taste bad."

"I won the lottery for a million dollars today so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. ... ... I now have $999,999.75"