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Joke of the Day

"My birthday is the 26th, the day of the first Presidential Debate. I do love comedy on my birthday!"

"So a waitress pours coffee on a mans hat He says, ""I'll send you the bill."""

"You cannot eat me unless you spread me. -Butter"

"I called a suicide prevention line. It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck."

"You know what's the worst thing about having sex with 28 year olds? You have to keep track of all twenty of 'em"

"Mom, dad... I'm gay. I didn't know either, someone on the internet told me"

"People who say ""life doesn't come with a set of instructions"" obviously haven't heard of the Kama Sutra."

"Donald Trump won the presidency and everyone laughed ... it was Hillary-less."

"Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything."

"it has been suggested that men think about sex every 8 seconds I can tell you that's a complete phallus"