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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the doctor for an exam... ... the doctor looks at him and says, ""You have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" asks the man. ""Because I'm trying to examine you,"" says the doctor."

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods had a better driver"

"If a man thinks blondes have the best butts... ...and the verifies this by only watching blondes walk around, is he guilty of Confirmation By-Ass?"

"What did Mr. T say when he saw a fat lady at the bar? I don't hate this bar, but I pity the stool."

"How many nice guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they'll compliment it, but then get pissed off when it doesn't screw."

"I'm rockin the 'Barbie doll' look today. No, I didn't dye my hair blonde. I did 4 pushups and now I can't unbend my arms"

"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb? We may never know the truth."

"I need all zombie jokes you know, Reddit."

"Boy the things I did to that tirimisu were obscene! It was sort of embarrassing when they asked me to go back to my own table though."

"Whats the Difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt? Bolt can finish a race"