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Joke of the Day

"Hung like Einstein smart as a horse... Thanks dad."

"Why were the Star Wars made IV, V, VI, I, II, III? Because in charge of distribution, Yoda was."

"I told my doctor I abused drugs last night. Doctor:how? me: I punched my bottle of vicodin"

"You always agree with me and like what I say even if you don't believe me. What am I? An upvote"

"What did one cheese say to the other? I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!"

"I tried to get my Liberal Girlfriend to play Chess But she got really mad when I told her that Whites went before Blacks and the Queen has to die for the King."

"Me: So, hypothetically speaking, if we were dating would I get any free food? Her: Uh, excuse me? Me: *sigh* #1 combo with cheese, please."

"World Health Org says that Roundup weedkiller ""probably"" causes cancer... Monsanto needs to make a Roundup Ready human."

"How do Australians find sheep in the long grass? Irresistible..."

"9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."