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Joke of the Day

"I went shopping for the latest iPhone. Unfortunately, the Apple Store had sold out, so I didn't end up 6sful."

"In store checkout behind beautiful woman in sleek black dress. She's buying tequila and a quart of motor oil. Sure like to know that story"

"When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me...I don't know man. I think you're gonna have a bad time"

"I remember back in the day when you had to roll up a tiny scroll and give it to a falcon to tweet"

"Who are the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They got through over 40 stories in seconds."

"Every year I work my ass off to get the kids what they want for Christmas but then That fat bearded bastard gets all the credit. Mind you, It's my fault I married her."

"What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at? Czarcasm."

"customers who viewed SHIMMERING LIGHTS OUTSIDE THEIR WINDOWS, also viewed THEIR FEET HELPLESSLY MOVING TOWARDS THE DARKNESS OF THE WOODS"

"The hardest part What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheel chair"

"Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk? He was lack toes and toddler ant"