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Joke of the Day

"[in bed] ""No, I'm serious Amy. If this were a buddy cop movie would you try to avenge my murder even after the Chief took your gun & badge?"""

Next Joke
 
"My uncle the rabbi only tips 10% And a I mean always! He does that shit religiously!"
"So I've been thinking the world's getting more pessimistic... What do you fucking retards think?"
"joke of the day Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing. -"
"What do you call a person who helps teach others to fart? A tooter. (thanks, honey)"
"Physical Doctor gave me a physical and says I have to stop master bating. I ask why? He says ""because I'm giving you a physical"""
"Everytime I close my eyes, I think of you... 'cuz damn..It's sooo black just like you, nikah! --- I'm sorry..."
"[PHONE] ""TSA, How can I help you?"" Me: ""Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!"" Agent: ""Umm..."" Me: ""DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"""
"How many men do you need to defend Paris? I have no idea. Nobody ever tried."
"Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I."