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Joke of the Day

"She left me a note, on the fridge... ""It's not working anymore, I'm leaving you"". I opened up the fridge and it is working. She left me for nothing, that idiot."

"Yo momma joke Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."""

"Why don't witches have babies? Because their men have hollow-weenies!"

"1. Get preg 2. Transfer ur soul to fetus using Satanic alchemy 3. Give birth to yourself 4. Old body dies 5. Be a baby"

"In Iran, people are afraid of spiders... But in Iraq, no phobia"

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? If the sex stays the same but the dishes pile up."

"If you REALLY need to get laid tonight, put on your oldest or most ridiculous underwear. It works every single time."

"[slips the bus driver 20] ""Maybe you let me ride the bus for free?"""

"A man with Alzheimer's decides he wants tell some friends a joke. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE"

"Two pretzels were walking down the street hand in hand. One was a salted. Did the other one come plain?"