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Joke of the Day
"Welcome to the homonym restaurant, where all the food sounds good, but it isn't."
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"Stupid jokes I made at 3 in the morning. What do you call a Spanish man with erasers for toes? *Roberto* What do you call a Spanish man with no car? *Joaquin*"
"Banned an 80 year old man for life from attending NBA games. What's that? Like maybe 10 years?"
"A logician's wife is having a baby... She gives birth and they hand the baby to him. ""Is it a boy or a girl?"" she asks. ""Yes"" he replies."
"Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today? *raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*"
"What's the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. "
"I tried dropping the Google Maps human icon in North Korea... and he jumped back into his original position out of fear."
"I asked my soap who it voted for, it said... I'd lather not say! note: This one came to me in the shower just now, gotta go back in now. Oh, the irony! I think. ~Skip"
"My girlfriend told me she wanted a ring. So I said ""Bitch, take your phone off silent!"""
"I don't get why lesbians are called dykes. People keep explaining to me, but the idea just doesn't hold water."