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Joke of the Day

"1) My wife and I are fighting 2) My phone has an annoying ringtone whenever someone RTs me 3) My phone is in the room where she's sleeping"

"My 'Mom Voice' was so loud even the neighbors washed their hands and cleaned their rooms."

"not a day goes by that i don't think about dying and then accidentally getting sent to squirrel heaven"

"I'm going to to start a horse peeing race, The award will be called the trickle crown."

"I'm not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes."

"North Korea declares war."

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it. I'll show myself out."

"What is a racists favorite Disney film? 101 Damn'Asians."

"What is the difference between a bowling ball and a Romanian woman's Pussy? If you had to, you could eat the bowling ball."

"When a jury found Chuck Norris guilty of murder, the judge sentenced himself to death rather than sentencing Chuck Norris to anything."