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Joke of the Day

"Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts cost $1.50, while deer nuts are under a buck."

"Guys with ponytails are clearly vampires because there's no way you can actually see yourself in a mirror & still think that looks good."

"Everyone who believes in Psychokinesis... raise my hand"

"How do you say goodbye to 230,000 Indonesians? A big wave."

"Facebook friend: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you- SHUT UP, SHANNON. YOU'RE *ALWAYS* AT YOUR WORST."

"Windows Vista That is all."

"I installed a pedometer app on my phone But whichever direction I walk, I seem to be moving away from the kids."

"I was at Ihop the other day... and there was a one-legged girl named Eileen working there."

"Freak out your neighbors by removing one member of their stick figure decal family each night."