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Joke of the Day

"Five years after the Financial Meltdown, isn't it time to recognize that 'The Financial Meltdown' would be an amazing name for a sandwich?"

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw plastic forks at her."

"What do you call a guy who peeps his peeps? A homeboyeur."

"My phone just fell down a flight of stairs, but it's ok, it was in my pocket."

"The NHL's ability to punish players."

"How does a scientist make a hormone? The same way I do: don't pay her!"

"When Chumlee gets out of prison he should do a show with Jared from Subway. They should call it... Child Pawn."

"squirrel probs"

"I was really disappointed with Walmart There were only four of them in stock."

"I DIDN'T SAFELY EJECT MY FLASH DRIVE AND NOW MY DOG IS DEAD"