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Joke of the Day

"A friendly reminder to Republicans... ...to set your clocks 60 years ahead and join the rest of us in the 21st century."

"A turtle is crossing the road.... when he is mugged by two snails. When the police show up they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies ""I don't know...it all happened so fast!"""

"What do you call a sleepy relative of a paper towel? A napkin."

"I would make a 9/11 joke But that would just be plane wrong."

"What's the only difference between a near sighted and a far sighted gynecologist ? A wet nose."

"Dictators make great rulers... if you make a bunch of one centimeter marks on them while they're asleep."

"What do you call a really good fisherman? A master baiter"

"Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases? To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd."

"What do you call 222,215 Frenchman with their arms up? The active french armed forces."

"I was fired from my job in the pasta factory. I made a fusilli errors."