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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I'm riding in an uber, I like to request another uber. Instant car chase."

"Relationship between men and women is psychological. She is psycho and he is logical."

"I've been told I'm not ambitious enough. If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard. That bronze medal would be mine."

"I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a screaming baby. Apparently that's not allowed if the baby is yours."

"GOOD COP: He won't talk except in sign language BAD COP: I just cut off his left hand BAD PUN COP: He still has the right to remain silent"

"What did the Vietnamese sandwich salesman say to the unhappy mod? Banh mi"

"I crossed the road, walked into the bar and changed a lightbulb. It was at that moment I realised my life was a joke."

"Vectors Joke When (i) think of crossing with (u) I get my own normal vector, if you know what I mean. ;)"

"What do you call a capital lambda? A sheep-da"

"Why was the gay triceratops so frustrated? Because he couldn't find any tricerabottoms!"