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Joke of the Day

"Me: I was sober for 12 years AA Director: What happened ? Me: I turned 13...."

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny."

"How many feminists do you need to screw in a lightbulb? None. Lightbulbs promote rape culture."

"Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!"

"Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman."

"My wife wants to go on a romantic date for Valentine's Day so I guess I'll stay home with the kids."

"What do feminists do on Halloween? They go triggered treating"

"I used to forget time with you. Now, I'll just forget you with time."

"I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.."

"My girlfriend's plastic fork broke while she was eating earlier.... ....Just a tine-y bit. (i was so proud of myself but no one else laughed as much as I did )"