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Joke of the Day

"RANGER: Remember, don't feed the bears ME (being attacked by a grizzly): OH GOD HE'S RIPPING ME APART! RANGER: What did I just say!?"

"TIFU by... Getting needled by a dirty prick."

"Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb? Many hands make light work."

"When I die I want everyone.. ..... come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back and not say a word, so everyone will think I lived a cool double life."

"Asian's pets Asian's eyes don't water when their pets die, their mouths do."

"How does a feminist change a lightbulb? By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them."

"Wanna know my New Year's Resolution? 4K, baby."

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they!"

"On my home screen I surrounded the Fitbit app with a bunch of food delivery apps so it knows what's up."

"Hitler was a charitable guy. He backed Japan when they needed help in WW2."