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Joke of the Day

"Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should band together to create a compilation album entitled ""Maybe it's not us, it's you..."""

"I don't trust people who keep their jackets on after they've arrived. That's what I do when I'm going to escape."

"Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? You really think feminists will ever change anything?"

"A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love."

"Invisible Man A nurse says, ""Doctor, the invisible man is here for his three o'clock."" The doctor says, ""Well, tell him I can't see him."""

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar? He was out standing in his field."

"give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. teach a man theres plenty of fish in the sea but for som reason he still wont get over janice"

"Which of the Knights of the Round Table actually created the round table? Circumference."

"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? Because he was *out standing in his field*!"